OMG! It seems to me this modern form of woman torture would CAUSE breast cancer if there was none to detect!

I'll give you the humorous play by play:

Squish it from the top!
Squish it from the right!
Squish it from the left!

Switch to the other breast!

Squish it from the top!
Squish it from the left!
Squish it from the right!

Now, pick those things up off the floor and carry them back to the dressing room with you!

Two overly kneaded lumps of tissue droop with relief and mourn their early morning trauma, wondering to themselves, "Why? Haven't we done everything we were supposed to do? Haven't we attracted and comforted men? Haven't we nursed four babies? What's a breast to do?????"

My response: "OK, you two! Perk up or you're outta here! I'm having a reduction, and you'll each lose up to one-half your tissues!" It's been 15 hours and no response yet. I'll give them a week, then I'm calling plastic surgeons!